You’re not allowed to drink in class, hospital, church or on public transport, which is frustrating as those are all fucking boring places that could do with livening up with a drink.

Also, drinks in bars are really expensive compared to drink in shops, nearly four times more expensive pretty much, so if there’s a way round paying that all that extra you should do it, because that means you can go out more and do fun things like jump on cars, fight your friends and have sex with uggos four times as much.

The best way to do that is to sneak booze into public places. The problem with sneaking in a flask or a small bottle is that they look exactly like flasks and small bottles, and bouncers (who are just doing their job, fyi, don’t hate) can spot them when they search your bags, then they punch you in the fucking face and make you leave, holding your bloody nose.

Until now, that was how it went for millions across the country, but my friend Polly discovered a way round it when she went to LA the other day. It’s a flask that looks like a shitty mobile phone! It comes in a leather case and you unscrew the aerial to get the booze that you’ve put in there at home.This is the face you will make when the bouncer finds this in your back pocket and you just go ‘errr it’s just a mobile phone actually???’. Pretty smug.

Joke’s on the bouncer cos the aerial unscrews!

You can fill it with BOOZE! (Use some kind of a funnel though, we ended up spilling a lot of this)

Then you can drink it. Or pour it into your coke.

Wash it out better than we did though.

I’ve no idea where to get these from, I think they’re like Bart Marley t-shirts or gun lighters so you can probably find them in head shops. Polly’s was $20, which seems like a lot for a hollow bit of metal, but I’m sure she’ll save at least that in about about a week (she loves the sauce, she’s probably drunk right now).