The other week I went to an art show and this guy had an amazing t shirt with all the members of Public Enemy on it, I asked him where he got it from and he said he made it himself.

He told me how to do it and I said in the blog post I’d show you all ‘next week’, but that was three weeks ago. I basically forgot about it then some commenter said something about it and I realised what a flake I had been and how much I’d let you all down, and I cried tears of rage and cut myself a bit. Then I picked myself up, straightened out my clothes and went round to Lixo’s house to make some t shirts for you all. Here’s how to do it.

All you need to buy are crappy t shirts from Primark (BE CAREFUL, I accidentally bought a pack of v-necked t shirts as well as these ones, which I then had to throw away because the idea of wearing them made me vomit blood) for four pounds, and some special printer transfer paper for a tenner.

Find a photoshop nerd to help you with the next bit. You can tell them by their studious demeanour and how many short cuts they know on their iTunes.

Choose an image from the world wide web, maybe of something you like. We went for Audrey Horne from Twin Peaks, because she is a massive babe and it’s my housemate’s dj name. She’s a poor little rich girl and all she wants is her daddy’s love. (Taking photos of laptop screens looks shit with a flash, I also learned at this point).

We make the photo look like a screen print, which I guess kind of defeats the point of not screen-printing it.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

THE MOST CRUCIAL THING THAT I FORGOT TO TAKE A PHOTO OF IS YOU HAVE TO REVERSE THE IMAGE ON PHOTOSHOP! Otherwise it’ll look weird if you’ve got writing on your image. Don’t be a dummy.

That’s the image printed out on Alex’s kitchen sideboard. The anticipation at this point was palpable.

Heat up an iron but don’t put any water in it. Alex still lives with his folks, those flowers are a dead giveaway.

Get your ill-fitting, oversized Primark t shirt and lay the image (face down, obvz, that’s how the pictures get on the shirt, are you retardo?) in the centre.

Iron over the bit of paper for a good minute. 

Wait for the whole thing to cool and then peel off the paper really really really slowly, being careful to stick your tongue out like a seven year old drawing a picture of his dad in a tractor.

You get why we had to reverse the image now? Was a part of you worried it wouldn’t be the right way round? You’re an idiot.Look what we made! This could basically be a Supreme shirt couldn’t it?

We also made a Robert Crumb shirt.