October is dull. Nothing happens in October. The novelty of a new school/college/university has worn off by now and you’re left with nothing to look forward to except the new series of Peep Show and the remaining few weeks of sunlight before the clocks go back on the 25th.

Luckily for you, I’ve devised five thrilling experiments guaranteed to pass the time.

1. THE MOBILE PHONE RAINBOW EXPERIMENT
Firstly, you’ll have to wait until it rains (shouldn’t take long… chortle… British weather etc etc etc). It can’t just be spitting, it has to be a fairly heavy downfall. Next, take your mobile phone outside [You do so at your own risk – Platform is not responsible for any damage that may occur] and hold it in your hand. You might want to pretend to text someone so that you don’t look like a nutter.

Slowly but surely, raindrops will begin to cover your screen, creating INCREDIBLE rainbow dots. This happens because the light emanating from the screen is refracted through the zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Anyway, it looks straight dope.

2. THE THRIFTY TRAVELER EXPERIMENT
This one’s mainly for the Londoners. If you’ve just left secondary education, you’re probably in a deep period of grief for the loss of your free bus pass. Why not cheer yourself up by calculating all the money you saved by not paying for two years?

Simply calculate your average weekly travel spend and times by 104 for instant joy. If you’re feeling too happy, why not calculate what you will spend over the next two years? Don’t forget to adjust for inflation!

3. THE CURIOSITY EXPERIMENT
This one explains itself.

4. THE PATENTED TWIGLETS DENSITY GRAPH
Deep in their hearts, everybody knows that Twiglets are far and away the best crisp (to be honest, they’re so good that they almost defy definition as a crisp). They are perfect for every occasion: in hot weather, in cold weather, when you’re starving, when you’re not really hungry but just want something to tide you over, the list is endless.

One of the best things about this greatest of snacks is the inevitable Twiglet detritus that covers your fingers after consumption. Not only does it provide a delectable post-packet treat, but also functions as an instant density graph, telling you which of your fingers you use the most when eating Twiglets. For me, the middle finger is a clear winner.

Co-incidentally, my density graph also functions as a fairly accurate bar chart.

5. THE CLASSIC: VINEGAR AND BICARBONATE OF SODA
Fuck Diet Coke and Mentos, that shit’s for losers. V&BoC is where it all began. Grab a container (or a paper mache volcano if you’ve really got time on your hands), shove in some vinegar and bicarbonate of soda (or baking soda if you’re across the pond) and watch the goo flow.

For bonus fun, mix them in your mouth.