It had been about 16 years since I last saw a nativity play, which is fine by me because they’re awful, preachy dross- stop indoctrinating the kids, I say. But last night I gave the nativity play another chance with Koran Koran, a part-time comedy supergroup comprising members of some of the bands The Saudis, Is Tropical, The Metros and The Good News. I didn’t think there was a danger of these guys being indoctrinated; intoxicated or inebriated, certainly, I hoped so, but they didn’t seem to be in danger of converting to Catholicism. I arrived to find the band leader, Alex from The Saudis, who would be playing Joseph, looking and sounding twaddled. He was in great shape to lead his gang through half an hour of the most fun I’ve had in ages: a rock’n'roll nativity play called Birth.

They kicked things off with someone’s Mum dressed as an angel, swearing at the crowd and reading an introduction. I went to a rough school, so I remembered this bit from our nativity.

After the choir had sung Silent Night pretty well, the seven-strong band revved it up into a punk song.

I doubt the girl who played Mary was a virgin- I doubt very much that The Saudis know any virgins. This is another similarity to my school’s Christmas play.

Koran Koran look great here, a bit like The Clash in the Rock the Casbah video.

Alex gave an interesting interpretation of the role of Joseph, using his dancing skills to distract the crowd from the Inn, made out of cardboard, falling over.

And then, the big moment. Christ the Saviour was born in a flurry of straw being thrown around the place, toasts being made to the new born king, and a rock’n'roll stage invasion. I think baby Jesus had had a few beers, but they don’t mention that in the Bible.

An excessive amount of smoke meant the smoke alarms went off, but this added to the chaos- by this point, nobody appeared to know what was going on or who was in charge- a bit like the real birth of Jesus, I’d imagine.

From then on it became one big party. They got it all back together to finish with their Christmas single, ‘Christmas Time, Everything Is Mine,’ which is a great big sing-along ballad in the vein of Wolfman and Pete Doherty’s ‘For Lovers’. You can listen to it here. The chances of it beating the X Factor winner and getting the Christmas number one are zero, but it’s what would be number 1 in my ideal world. I think you can get it from iTunes, so go look for it.