It’s easy to take a blank white T-shirt, and splash it with quirky colors à la Jackson Pollock, and maybe make a living out of a shirt business, but if you ever want a market of freaks interested in buying your dead Grandma’s embellished dentures, then worry no more.

Regretsy takes the very best of Etsy handcrafted items and illustrates the fine examples of utter junk  people sell on the internets.  I mean, they have some great stuff in there, I myself would have loved to own this as a kid, I suppose it accurately alienates you from you’re the playground pack.  But in a good way.

I couldn’t really find one thing I didn’t like, and narrowing it down to just six was hard as shit, so here goes. For your viewing pleasure:

Best Wall Art

Wasting away your seed is a sure way to go extinct.

Most Sensitive Portrayal of Amputees

OMG, I’ve always wanted one of these! Put it next to the Klimt, yeah?

Most Imaginative

What I like to call a PWN!!!!!!1113445234!

Most Aware of Current Health Issues (By the Hour)

“Hey what time is it? , “I dunno, let’s check out my HIV CLOCK!”

Least Likely To Get You Laid (And Most Likely To Make You Seem Like A Sleaze-Bag)

Disclaimer: Condoms may not prevent risk of STDs, celibacy or shame. Decorate at own risk.

Most (Grossly) Misleading


Best Possible Xmas Present

Some people might just want a hanging vagina in their keychains, it’s a personal choice and I blatantly think you’d be wrong for criticizing any of them. Don’t hate the player, hate the game.

Most Likely To Be Lunch And Dinner For Your Cat

“Hey man, I’m calling you about the dead fish in squirrel you’ve posted two days ago, yeah, so like is it salmon , or truite? Cause I don’t know how I would feel about salmon. Thanks”.