CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!!!

My first and possibly only concrete memory of a ‘frat’, was the story of a freshman who drowned in a lake during his hazing initiation in Florida back in the late 1990s. So from then on, I’ve sort of always though frats were evil, horrendous, and mainly populated with chunky dudes who like to wear their visors upside down and sideways. But it’s not 1998 anymore, and visors have pretty much all been castrated from everyday clothing, so if evolution functions as it should, Frats - and essentially Frat parties - have moved on from that dark age.

PHOTOS: VIRGINIA SLATTERY

Frat parties are alright, I mean, they’re a bit cemented in American youth culture really. The boys usually dress like this, and the girls usually act like this, and that’s fine if it’s your cup of tea and all, you know? Every ‘college’ movie/show/book passes the Frat party test, that means they all try to climax at a point where something epic happens to the central character (i.e, you - the student), and the setting is usually an Alpha Phi Beta Iota Gamma (Mama!) bro fuckfest. Essential ingredients include guilty fornicating, kegstands - a minimum of two, going at the same time, preferably male and female - loads of CHICKS, and of course BROS, but only a few. Add these together, and the rest should follow naturally.


I’ve asked Virginia Slattery, who happens to go to a school in the States that host ‘annoying‘ Frat parties, to answer a few questions. She was nice enough to send us some pictures for witnessing, and even added a bit of insight for those of you less familiar. I should probably go ahead and put myself in that bunch, since I don’t know of any New York frat parties, it’s like they don’t exist over there. Odd.

Hey Virginia! How’s School?
Schools good, lots of work.

What You Studying?
I’m majoring in Sociology and minoring in Art.


How often do you think the frat at your college hosts parties?
The frat scene is pretty much about a third of the social life on campus, they are the main ones to throw parties open to the whole campus every weekend.

Do you go to all of them, or know anyone who does?
It’s the same type of people, other guys in other frats and girls in sororities, who go to those parties. It’s pretty much the same thing over and over again - people just get shitfaced and wind up sloppy dancing all over each other, like in the second picture below. I’ll usually wind up stopping by the parties but I don’t like to spend my whole night at one because they get so repetitive.

Tell me, what’s going on in this picture?
People are dancing to the song ‘Shot’, and It’s the part where they say ‘a little bit softer now‘, things get more sloppy the lower people get to the floor.

Right, more hard-hitting questioning. Kegstand: Hot or Not?
I’ve never done a kegstand, but I’m a big fan of doing a gargoyle (Where you squat on top of a keg).

Have you any horrible stories from Frats parties?
People end up getting really shitfaced at frat parties and there is at least one person who needs to be EMT’d every weekend.

Sum up a typical frat party in three words for anyone who’s never attended one:
Sloppy, sweaty, and skanky.

Any plans this weekend? WHAT YOU DOING TONIGHT?? WANNA COME OVER OUR FRAT HOUSE AND PLAY BEER PONG???
This weekend I’ll be getting shitfaced because my crew season will finally be over!!!11

(no word on the beer pong invite though…)


Thanks, Virginia!