Internet Forever are a band that formed in a blog comments section, they’ve done a cool video which looks all VHS-y and old and their singer/drummer is a girl who is obsessed with X Files and is going to do feature for us where she tracks down people who have seen cryptozoological creatures and talk to them.

Put simply, they’re a bunch of cool nerds, and recently they went on tour with a band called Johnny Foreigner and Laura (the aforementioned X Files fanatic) took a polaroid camera (remember them?) with her. She wrote a really nice diary to go with it too. Then she sent it in to me and I’ve put it up here for you. Sure, they’re no Motley Crue, but it seems like they had a fun time. Enjoy…


When we got to Birmingham it was raining harder than any rain ever, but luckily the promoter was a sweet dude and he gave me some dry socks to wear. Christopher played his ukele on the bus like a bastard and we ate so much falafel we nearly exploded. The support bands were all pop punk, the kind that say “WOAH-OH” between every line of their songs, which was totally cool with me.

Some dude papped me when I was sitting down minding my own business and then asked me to sign our tape. If he wasn’t so obviously unhinged I would have felt like Beyonce. We danced after our show to The Distillers and Mika Miko and everyone was super happy. Christopher DJ’d but I can’t remember what he played. The boys stayed up until 5.30am making up puns and I wished that they would go get murdered so I could get some sleep.


In Bristol the sound man repeatedly told us how shit and awful we sounded during sound check. I don’t think lo-fi no-fi noize pop has reached Bristol yet cuz he didn’t seem to understand it was ok for it to sound fuzzy and saturated. This was our first show with Johnny Foreigner so we just got drunk and psyched and kicked ass anyways.

My 37 year old, tattooed, ex-junkie, Faith No More fan brother (who was driving us around) told me that he thought Gareth from Los Campesinos! was really nice and that he wanted to listen to his band. After the show we went to the Thekla and danced like we were in a nu-metal band to badly mixed dubstep. We hit up the 24 hour Asda on our way back to our friend’s house and ate a fucking shitload of scotch eggs.


Today we learn that our song ‘Cover The Walls’ is Artrocker and NME Radio’s single of the week. Craig doesn’t understand why he still has to wipe his own arse. We read this amazing review on a blog which says “Internet Forever are probably more sexually experienced than they initially seem”… I feel bad for writing so many lame songs about boys and promise to write more songs about sex and violence.

We play another good show. Thankfully Johnny Foreigner’s sound dude Francis has started taking care of the in house sound men, explaining to them all how to “My Bloody Valentine it up” and this seems to work. We stay at some random dude’s house who has to wake up his mum to let us all in. We sleep on a laminate floor and I have a weird dream where I am Dana Scully and Christopher is Fox Mulder and we’re fighting some evil giant birds in a sports hall.


During the day we looked around the second hand book shops and played DJ Hero in HMV. Christopher bought a violin and tried to play Beirut and Final Fantasy songs. By Reading we are all in love with Johnny Foreigner. We’ve been going on at the end of their set every night and wigging the fuck out, doing this almighty noisy ending to one of their songs. It’s probably the highlight of everyone’s day. The crowd in Reading is surprisingly awesome; we sell a tonne of our tapes. Some dude asks if he can buy me instead of my CD. He is the least awesome thing about Reading. Our keyboard breaks. This is also categorically unawesome.

Today is a disaster. Christopher temporarily blinds his girlfriend by elbowing her (accidentally) in the temple and has to take her to A&E. We can’t fix our keyboard and so head to Hackney to borrow a friend’s before heading down to Guildford. The 33 mile trip from Hackney to Guildford takes the best part of four hours. We miss soundcheck and are all in foul moods. Battered sausages and chips lift our spirits slightly.

The show goes well, and our friend notices that some kids are singing along with our songs. I later see the same kids outside making out and it makes me wanna hurl. If I don’t have anyone to make out with right now then 14 year olds shouldn’t either. LIFE SUX!! On the way home we go to Mcdonalds drive-thru and Craig tells us how when he was in India he paid a horse and cart driver to take him through the drive-thru. What an asshole.


Craig has started DJing in the car, back announcing every song with a pun. “That was Why? with ‘Close To Me’. That song is so old they should rename it ‘Colostomy’”. It’s funny until we get bored and just have an epic Ben Kweller singalong. I miss 2002! We get to Stoke way before Johnny Foreigner do and Christopher and Craig pass the time by getting me to film them doing versions of their favourite YouTube hits. I laugh so much at Christopher recreating the Tyra Banks Vaseline giveaway that I cry and my stomach hurts.

Tonight is our last night with Johnny Foreigner and we all get suitably wasted on beer and gin and make the most of our time together. During our set I look to the back at the merch stall and see Jo Fo and their crew dancing like nutters and singing along to our song ‘Break Bones’ and it makes me do a little LOL and a happy smile mid line.

Internet Forever GO MAD with Johnny Foreigner from laura_wolf on Vimeo.

Most of the night is a blur but somehow our stuff got packed in the car and somehow we got back to London. But not before recording a cover of an Owl’s song.

Internet Forever and Johnny Foreigner cover Owls from laura_wolf on Vimeo.