Ladies And Gentlemen, I Give You: The Internet

Hot or Not?

If I wasn’t a complete moron when it comes to even the simplest of computer tasks, I’d jimmy-rig one of them voting…things on here so you guys could decide on whether or not I should puke right now like I really, really want to, or just pass this off as another case of internet people being internetty.  Hold on a sec… brb.

OK, never mind, I puked anyway. Jesus Christ what did I eat last night, a plate of dog pants? Where was I? Oh right, here’s the thing we’re going to be outraged and/or smug about today.  It’s a site that’s gone up recently called Birth or Not.

“You can vote and choose whether we abort or keep our unborn child. For the first time, your vote on the topic of abortion can make a difference” reads the description.

Wait, that’s not real, is it?  News it up newshammers:

Minnesota couple Pete and Alisha Arnold say they’re letting the Internet decide whether or not they get an abortion. The couple—who have been posting ultrasound pictures at—say the move is an exercise in democracy. They plan to keep the poll open for as long as Alisha, now 17 weeks pregnant, can legally get an abortion, and claim the results will be the deciding factor in whether they keep the fetus or not. via

Last I checked “Give Birth” was winning with 75% of the roughtly 10,000 votes cast, so, good news? I don’t even like babies, and I’m as pro-choice as the next guy who was brainwashed by years of Catholicism only to turn out to be a grossly reactionary and under-informed left wing radical communist, but If I may, without getting too sanctimonious here, I’d like to suggest another proposition, this one 100% binding. If this couple does end up going through with the birth, I think we should take a vote on how many seconds it should be before Obama and his fascist goons kick down the fucking door and steal that baby out of the mother’s attention-starved hands. Actually, let’s not wait. Can you evac a fetus out of a womb by army helicopter? I’m not too up to date on the woman-science aspects here.

More gold from Luke O’Neil over at


  • Justin November 19, 2010 at 2:10 pm

    Damned if you do, damned if you don’t. For the kid, I mean.

  • thecaptian November 19, 2010 at 6:25 pm

    steel? steal? journalism? really?

    • kicking ass, taking names November 20, 2010 at 12:41 pm

      are you confusing a bunch of jokes with journalism you uptight cunt? i think you are. chill out nerd

      • lukeoneil47 November 20, 2010 at 2:45 pm

        typo fixed, everyone can breath easier now.

        • lukeoneil47 November 20, 2010 at 2:46 pm

          breathe, that is. oof.


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