Warrior prince Vladimir Putin expanded his already impressive presidential skill-set – martial arts, warfare, horse riding, assassinations, womanising, anger, global politics – to include showmanship last week, when he dazzled an audience of deranged Hollywood celebrities with this astonishing rendition of Fats Domino’s Blueberry Hill. (Just look at Goldie Hawn, Gerard Depardieu, Mickey Rourke and Kevin Costner party down like he’s not a sinister murdering dictator. Wow.)
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You see these guys around and wonder, what is their thing? What do they call themselves? What is the music they listen to called? How do they dance? Where did they all find each other? What do they stand for? What do their dads think of them? Are they gay? Where do they get those contact lenses from? What's with the rubber hosing in their hair? Do they want to be from the future? Why aren't you allowed to take photos in Cyberdog? We should catch one and talk to it about its life.
Nick Cage is one of the greatest actors of our generation. If this isn’t evidence of that then I don’t know what it is. Powerhouse performance.
This video is fucking crazy! The gunman Clay Duke opened fire on a school board that fired his wife, only to get shot by a security guard. No one died, though Clay shot himself after. Lousy shots or guns just ain't what they used to be. Catch the "V for Vendetta" reference.
If you don’t like watching the real news and want a popular YouTube-based analogy for all that WikiLeaks business that’s going on at the moment, this is it. Every hour of every day I bet people all across the BBC are making comments just like this about Ann Robinson’s plastic tits, it’s just that we don’t usually get to hear them.
Is this what it's like in Scotland all the time? Or is it just like this at sporting events?
Here at Platform we receive our fair share of angry comments and moody emails, but no one's got anything on this guy when it comes to being disliked by people with computers.
Miley Cyrus gets down like the rest of us. Have you seen the Family Guy skit where her dad gets her to put her Hannah Montana wig on so it makes it ok for him to fuck her? It's pretty funny.
It's been a slow day on the blog, so here's a video of Mike Tyson using noise music as his entrance song. I'd still fight him though, motherfucker I'd pay for the ring too. I want DMX to perform my entrance live, midgets muay thai boxing around me and rich white guys slapping my ass as I walk down to the ring.
So this charming lip-synch to that Taylor Swift song about how all women are untrustworthy whores has already “gone viral”, but for those of you rocking late passes, feel free to watch it here. And yeah, it’d be hotter if she was maybe 10-15 pounds fatter.