I take tips from my nan, when it comes to aging, I look at the things she does that I think are awesome for a 79 year-old and try to replicate them. I just ignore the other stuff she does – like wearing a knitted poncho in the blazing sunshine. Indeed, there are wrongs and rights of aging and these folks illustrate picture perfect examples.
Dressing Up: The Good vs. The Bad
Personal style is like wine: the older you get, the more refined it becomes. Some of us are already taking tips from our gramps and nans on how to dress, and it’s hard finding a non-dapper looking older gentlemen, but go down to the wiccan fair in suburbia, and creepy/awkward falls within its meaning.
Moving Around: Public transport vs. Cycling
Sadly, nobody likes older people on the tubes or buses, though they would never dare admit it; which is why there’s always some tension between the young and the old during rush hour. I want to avoid that when I get to my 80s, there is something effortlessly cool about an older person riding a bike at 10 in the morning with a newspaper and groceries in the front basket.
Having Fun: Bingo vs. Machine Guns
Bingo is played out man, my little 6 year old cousin can beat me at bingo, that’s not right man. I’m waiting for AK47s and Glock 9s at this point, I want to be the old lady at the hospice screaming ‘Shotgun!’ and not ‘Bingo!’
Hanging Out: The Old People Way vs. The Seriously Awesome Old People Way
Old People Fighting & Old People Driving
But remember to have a bit of fun, when you’re getting there. You shouldn’t restrict yourself from your blissful pleasures as you’re getting older, you have more free time on your hands anyway, go golfing, buy a horse, drink tap water, have sex (but don’t visualize that just yet), chill out. Don’t bicker, and fight with your mates, you might break a bone.
And on my repeated observation of the elderly, I’ve concluded that if you cannot escape your boobs sagging and your genitals going limp, then damn it at least make the most of your 3mph walking speed: KICK SOME ASS!!!
