3. Waking up alone and not remembering anything about the night before.

I don’t drink and this is pretty much why.  I spent years of weekends waking up with a gasp like at the beginning of 28 Days Later, seeing I still had my trousers on that I was covered in bruises, and getting a crushing, terrifying feeling of the unknown.

One of my least favourite things to do when this happened was ring round my friends to check I was OK.  I really hate those talks, they’re so embarrassing.  Although the phone calls themselves aren’t as bad as the feeling just before the other person picks up, where you think they’re not going to because you punched them or told them how you really felt about them.

Another bad bit of this whole process was figuring out where all my bruises came from.  I don’t think anyone ever really finds out, I imagine they happen during roughhousing with friends, and maybe bouncers? I’m not sure.

You also have to check for lost stuff, that happens a lot – maybe your phone’s gone, or just the battery pack is gone, or maybe you’ve spent alllllll your money on coke that turned out to be talcum powder, or maybe you just don’t have a wallet anymore.

Another jewel in the crown of this is personal hell is checking your sent texts.  This is bad if you have girls that you like and are pursuing, as they will more than likely have received a text asking them to come out and join you on your evening out, not once, not twice, but at least three times, and that may have set you back a few steps with them. You’ve got to find a decent way to apologise without looking pathetic as well.

So in summary, the three reasons this feeling is awful are:

1.    The fear of the unknown. The creeping sense that something inside you prompted you to do something truly awful and shameful in front of your peers.
2.    The feeling of hating yourself so much because it’s really just your own fault for drinking quite so much.
3.    Still feeling drunk, but not wanting to be, and being really dehydrated and hungover but still panicked and miserable.

Great night. Well done dickhead.

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