I hated slumber parties when I was a kid. Whenever I had a one-on-one sleepover I rarely made it through the night. My family and I had a secret code word: “my yellow nightgown.” For some reason, no one in my family remembers this code word. They didn’t even remember it when I used it. One time I called my mom because I wanted to go home from a slumber party and I whispered loudly into the phone, “I forgot my yellow nightgown!” and my mom was all, “What are you talking about? Why are you calling? Do you want me to pick you up?” As deft as my mother was, I got homesick, or so I thought. But really I think I just couldn’t stand the weird intimacy that goes on during a sleepover. I’d get bored. I’d have trouble sleeping. The idea of being in closed quarters with someone and running out of things to talk about gave me extreme anxiety. And what if I didn’t want to play with My Little Pony? What if I didn’t want to watch Cheers? It was only until I met my one true BFF Ally Sklover in 8th grade that I would be able to handle a sleepover.
Sleepover “parties” were different than regular sleepovers because it was more than just you and another girl. These parties were always distasterous. I remember in 4th grade, Danielle Russo had a slumber party and her dad kept screaming at us to be quiet. He had to yell at us so many times that in the middle of the night (it was probably 10pm), someone declared that they “felt really uncomfortable because Danielle’s dad was yelling and they wanted to get picked up.” Then a few other girls chimed in with the same thought. Before you knew it, all the lights were on and everyone had packed up their sleeping bags and decided to call it quits. I vaguely remember Danielle giving us bagels on the way out. No one ended up sleeping over. At Amy Gross’ slumber party, her mom threatened us so many times to be quiet that she ended up sleeping in the basement with us. Awkward city!
But when we got older, slumber parties were par for the course. Prank calls were made, snacks were snacked, and sometimes we would even lez out with one another. Yeah you know that happened. On more than a few occasions we would show one another our breasts, compare, dispair, and judge each other. Kelly H. used to dare girls to kiss her. I think today she’s a gym teacher.
Thinking about sleepover now strikes me as funny because my life has literally become a never ending slumber party. My boyfriend is always in my bed, we’re even thinking about living together. I wonder how a girl who couldn’t even handle one night away from the solace of her bedroom goes to never being able to be alone for a minute.
It’s been a string a never ending sleepover parties my whole life.
Do you think it’s a problem? (Do I?)
