There are lots of fun things you can do on all fours like yoga, human pyramids, doggy style and the Camden Crawl. For two days 20,000 douche bags drag themselves around 40 venues to see 150 artists in the name of fun while Camden festers in the background, reeking of toilet, drain and dead raccoon. These are the highlights from a misspent weekend.
The Computers
The Computers played both nights but I saw them in The Purple Turtle on Friday.
There was all this red and blue lighting that made it seem like you were watching a dinosaur film through 3D glasses which was so cool.
They all wore red shirts too which was cute and added to the 3D effect.
Someone behind me shouted out “I LOVE YOU SONNY” (Sonny is the hot guitarist) really loud and he looked right at me as if I said it. Gnarly.
The Computers are so good. My favourite song is Track Four
The Virgins
Donald Cumming wasn’t wearing any pants, FACT. Unless he had some kind of tanga number on. But we were like that <—> close to seeing the top of his willy. He was pretty sweaty too.
Wade is the hottest. Boys with long blonde hair rock.
Someone let off a stink bomb and it smelt real bad of rotten eggs. People were heaving and running for the toilet. Others grabbed napkins to cover their faces.
That’s pretty funny though.
The Shitty Limits
I almost had a panic attack in The Enterprise because it was so rammed. There was a total mosh pit. The Shitty Limits play really short songs which is amazing for people with small concentration spans. They were probably my favourite band of the whole weekend.
Yeah Yeah Yeahs
This polarock says quite a lot about my experience of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs.
We had to queue for like two hours to get ’special’ wrist bands. Then we had to queue for 30 minutes to get into the round house. Fuck queues.
Some guy lit a cigarette and blew smoke in my eye. Wankstain.
Karen O was the best, EVER. She dedicated Maps to loads of people including her mum and dad.
When it came on everyone snogged and I felt sick.
The XX
It was really hard to get upstairs to see The XX because the bouncer made it “one in one out.”
Some people came out so we asked why and they said it was boring. A snooty girl with a peroxide bob said “duh that’s the idea.” I hated that. What a funt.
When we got upstairs it smelled SO STRONG of roast dinners all I could think of was Yorkshire Puddings. NB: Americans don’t know what YPs are. I gave one once and he said, “Is that a pie filled with air?” Air pie. The XX are sweet like air pie.
The Big Pink
Smoke machine + polaroid camera + Robbie Furze = black and white ghost.
Good gig though.
WORDS + PHOTOS: SHELLY JONES
