What do you hate about human nature?
I love humans; it’s just that most people in the world are idiots, especially in east London. I guess the one thing I hate most about the human race is religion. It’s pure evil that only causes harm and ignorance. I hate stupid people too.
Which one person in the world do you hate most?
I can’t be bothered to waste my hate on most people, I usually hate celebrities that are celebrities for being celebrities.
Off the top of my head I’d say Alan Green. He’s a football commentator on 5 Live, but he’s a Liverpool fan and hates everything about Manchester United (my team) and will just moan about them for hours instead of commentating on the games. There was a petition to get rid of him from the BBC once. I signed up for that, but he’s still there.
What would you put in Room 101?
People who listen to their music on their phones without headphones, David Piper, bands who sing “ohh, ehh, ohh” songs and wear pointy shoes, really-low tight v-neck t-shirts and straw hats, London Fields, Danny Dyer, people who use triangles in their artwork, anyone who watches or entered X Factor, people who get tattoos because they think they’re cool, Family Guy, stupid people, Kevin Smith and anyone related to him, music critics, CGI, George Lucas, rich kids who pretend and act like they’re poor, white people with dreadlocks, Mark Chapman, Guy Ritchie, Madonna (after 1989), religious people, Simon Amstell, T4, people not from America who go on about Barack Obama, people who wear Sonic Youth ‘Goo’ t-shirts.
What do you hate about drawing?
When the pen you’re using has nearly run out and you keep having to go over the same lines, but you can be bothered to go to the art shop to buy a new one for £2.40 so the drawing ends up looking crap.
You can’t hate stuff all the time, what do you truly love?
Answering these questions, I realised I love people who hate and moan a lot. Someone once told me I’m the love child of Larry David and Eric Cartman. That was probably the biggest compliment I’ve ever received.
I love football, and in particular Manchester United, I’ve cried a few times over them. I love buying records and recently discovered this website where you can just type the band, the album and the word “blog” and then download anything. In the last few weeks I’ve got the complete back catalogue of 70′s French Synth band Space Art and loads of great prog/kraut stuff that would be virtually impossible to buy anywhere.
What do you hate about interviews?
Having to think of answers.
ILLUSTRATIONS: JIRO BEVIS.
