“My girlfriend is terrible at blow jobs. So so bad. It’s like she’s gently nudging it with a damp teddy bear. I don’t want to hurt her feelings, but I’m always seeing people saying you have to ‘teach your partner’ what you like. How the hell do I do that?”

“My boss is this really sleazy 30 year old who always stares at my boobs, and makes crude comments when I ask him for favours at work. He does it to all the girls, and most don’t seem to mind, but I don’t think I can take much more. But I really need this job for money. Help!”

“My best friend’s boyfriend is cheating on her. With me. It started off by accident, but now we’re doing it all the time. It’s amazing. He’s refusing to tell her, but I feel so guilty. Thing is, he doesn’t want to leave her, so I really don’t want to lose them both by telling her myself. Am I a terrible person?”

“My girlfriend is getting really fat.  When we started going out she was so hot, had a perfect body, but since then she’s let herself go a bit.  I still love her, but I don’t know if she’s even noticed she’s piling on the pounds.  Should I be the one to tell her?”

“My boyfriend keeps telling me I don’t dress sexy enough.  I think I’m a pretty sexy girl, I’m no boring Belinda, but he’s always suggesting I buy shorter skirts or get a wonderbra.  I thought boys didn’t like their girlfriends dressing slutty?!”

“I am pretty sure my boyfriend is cheating on me. Friends say they’ve seen him in town with other girls. He keeps denying it, but it’s getting kind of obvious. I want to catch him in the act – any tips much appreciated.”

“My dad’s got this new girlfriend and she’s only 5 years older than me, and a total babe. I get a boner everytime I hear them doing it, which is obviously completely perverted, but I can’t help it. She’s always hanging round the house in his shirts and little shorts. I think I’m going to explode if I don’t bone her soon.”

“Everytime I watch a film with my boyfriend he makes comments about how fit the girls in it are. Then after the film talks explicitly about their boobs. Am I over reacting, or is there a way to stop him doing it? I don’t want ‘Schindlers List’ to be the only film we can watch together. Fuck it, we can’t even watch that – the shower scenes.”

“My girlfriend keeps making excuses as to why she’s not into sex with me. E.g. stressed from work, just doesn’t really like sex that much, has to get up early. Is this bullshit, or are these actually things girls care about?”

“Dear Tuff-shit,
I called this bitch I sit next to in maths a prostitute today. I don’t feel bad about it because she told the whole shitting class that I had “geniwarts” (I don’t. mum loves me and bought me an injection). Anyway she won’t talk to me now which is shit because i was seriously almost in. How do I sort this and get what’s rightfully mine without apologising? I don’t want to say sorry because i’m told it’s not attractive.”

“help,
my boyfriend is nice n shit and we have good sex but he’s all on the “i’ve never felt this way before” shit and i dont feel that intense…is it okay to keep stringing him along because i dont want to be alone? and what do i do if there’s someone else i want to bang?”

“I’m not great with heights and I find it really difficult to sustain an erection when I’m up a tree. Can you recommend any areas/ boroughs that have a high concentration of bungalows with nice big windows?”

“i wanna get with about 5 guys who are all in the same friendship group…but i dont want them to all call me a slut. is the any way to go about this”

“I recently found my man kissing some plain ass ho, how do I get revenge on them both?”

“I need you to clear something up for me: what’s hotter – girls that act like they don’t care if you die, or girls who bring you cakes and occasionally call you when they’re drunk and shit?”