"Hi Tuvshin. There's this girl I really like but I'm only really in contact with her through facebook, I don't see her much in real life. How can I build things up from there and eventually get my hands on dat ass?"
You sounding and acting a real bitch right now mayne. I don't even think you have it in you to get your hands on 'dat ass' you Bright Eyes listening muthafucka. But I'm gonna help a brother out, since I'm tired of seeing my fellow men emasculating themselves acting like little bitches and that whole being paid beaucoup money to do this column. Instead of acting sweet like bear meat you need to grow some balls and phone the bitch up and take her somewhere to get drunk. Take her to a gay bar, the alcohols cheap and all the good looking men are gay. Also remember to fight your inner flaccid dick urge to constantly call her for verbal hand holding, be man and quit complaining about ‘not seeing her much in real life’ faggot.
