"Dear Tuff-shit,
I called this bitch I sit next to in maths a prostitute today. I don't feel bad about it because she told the whole shitting class that I had "geniwarts" (I don't. mum loves me and bought me an injection). Anyway she won't talk to me now which is shit because i was seriously almost in. How do I sort this and get what's rightfully mine without apologising? I don't want to say sorry because i'm told it's not attractive."